I’m not 100% certain when or why I chose Wednesday for the blog post musings day. I suspect it’s that equidistant-point-of-the-week thing which led me here… not that my week is precisely linked to the nominal business days any more, but still.
I’m riding a whitewater river of stories right now… it’s more than a bit intimidating I’ll be honest, there are SO many going on or waiting. When I am in the middle of narration, I feel very slightly drunk all the time; as though the words that pour through me each have a tiny narcotic thrill that leave me in a disconnected state. Word-Drunk is a thing my friends, and the better the words, the more powerful the intoxicant.
I dream the stories, I breathe them. I sip from their prose and I weave from their essence a web of narrative, buoyed upon my breath to ensnare and enchant. I also, apparently, get a bit poetic. (I have a license, honest!)
Confusion lies in the waters tho when there are as many stories all nestled up against each other as there are this month. I’m reading one, narrating another, thinking about the one just past, and will be recording one tomorrow I read a week ago. Deja-vu of deja-vu becomes like a funhouse mirror of words.
It’s actually a relief to step into the booth and become a conduit. To allow the words to simply flow, ride the emotions.
I have a confession to make: I do not, and have never felt like I am in control of my art.
I love to talk about the art, the craft. To discuss the ideas of acting, the methods, the pitfalls. I read books and talk with colleagues and I am inspired, and thrilled. But then I step onto the stage, or in front of the microphone, and the best I can explain is that I just… allow myself to be.
I do prep my books. I pre-read them and get a sense of their flavor and their direction. I research names I don’t know, places I’ve not visited. I paint the walls and floors of my mental performance space with the color scheme of the work; and then I step in and largely let go. I ride the story, I experience the moments of the book. I think that’s why it’s so hard to take artistic direction on a book for me… to go back and change an element, because I don’t have a completely conscious memory of making the choice in the first place. If I do, it’s more of an impression of an urge, an inkling.
And then I try to breathe the air of reality and come to earth for a while. It’s strange, and sometimes hard. My in-laws were visiting this weekend, and while everyone chatted on Monday I was in the studio recording. When I emerged for lunch, the idea of going out was floated, and I made time to go with… but I was only partially THERE during lunch. I recognized it as a partially detached state, one where I was still a bit removed from the frontal lobe activity of my brain. (I think I carried on OK, but I know I apologized for it at least twice)
I suspect that’s part of why my day itself is somewhat regimented. It keeps me coming back out of the Matrix at certain pre-defined times so that I’m not lost and exhausted. Every day, I get up around 6:30, do morning chores stuff and see the family off by 7:30. I exercise and eat breakfast (it’s my big meal) and am in the studio by 8:15-8:30. I answer emails, do social media stuff, update the accounting (shit, I need to do that today) At 9:30, I get in the booth, and fly. I work standing up these days, it’s better for my body, and it helps remind me to take breaks because I tire. Usually around 11 I will take 10 minutes, and then back in.
12:30, I break for lunch until 1:30 or 2. I try to have something ready because I’m usually ravenous, and then do something physical. Go for a walk, work in the wood shop for a bit. Clean. Something that isn’t floating on a sea of words.
By 2, I’m back in the booth and flying once more. I will often break at 3:30 for another 10, and then back until 4:30 or 5. My goal is 1.5 hours of finished audio per block (one morning, one afternoon) so if I hit my goal early, I break for the day.
I guess one needs to know how to pace one’s word-drinking. (Surely there is a German compound word for that… there’s a German compound word for EVERYTHING… hm, google says no. Oh well)
And now? I need to go back to the bar.
Love to you my friends, and be well. Keep reading, keep writing, keep listening and keep sharing your stories.
Cheers, and Bisous!